10 weeks and 3 days
5 weeks and 2 days
Ya know, in the grand scheme of things, that’s a really short amount of time. In five weeks, we will be planning Halloween costumes. In ten weeks, we will be anxiously watching the college football polls to see what teams will be competing in the playoffs. However, in those ten weeks, or even those five short weeks, AMAZING things are happening. In just five weeks, a little bitty heart is forming and is able to pump blood. In ten short weeks, all vital organs have formed and small fingernails are ready to be painted or caked with dirt.
And then the ultrasound……silence where there should have been a pounding heart beat. A perfectly still silhouette where we should have seen a wiggling, dancing little person. An umbilical cord that did not attach as it should have without any indication as to why.
In those short weeks, dreams were being formed, names tossed around and daydreams of little ones with brown hair and blue eyes dancing through our heads.
And then the ultrasound…..our sweet doctor explaining that miscarriages happen all the time. After the first such ultrasound, we were told that most women go on to have healthy babies…..and we had our beautiful Brynlee a short time later. After the second such ultrasound and a litany of additional tests, we were told to be thankful for Brynlee because I wouldn’t be able to carry another little one to full term. Thankfully, God is bigger than a doctor’s outlook!! And we were blessed with our second sweet girl a few months later.
Fast forward to a couple weeks ago and the Planned Parenthood videos that began to surface. Initially, I thought the videos had to be fabricated. Surely, a person could not justify SELLING the body parts of innocent babies and referring to them as “line items.” Really?! “Line items!!!” I immediately flashed back to receiving insurance documents after our first miscarriage and the following surgery. I vividly remember reading that there were not any deformities with the little one. In my mind, I could see that tiny little person in my sweet doctor’s hands. The same hands that so carefully delivered Brynlee less than a year later.
I won’t pretend to have faced what a single mother or a rape victim has had to deal with. I’ve never had to explain to my family that I am 14 years old and pregnant. I’ve never been down those roads, but I have had the excitement, nervousness and fear that comes with seeing that positive pregnancy test result. I’ve seen that positive result four times…..two times that ended in beautiful baby girls, and two times that ended with blood tests, lost little ones and rivers of tears.
The thought of Planned Parenthood dissecting and selling little ones like mine makes me sick and furious beyond words! And what’s worse, where is the outcry?! Where are the voices that are speaking up for these little ones that have no voices?! Where are the ones that know that life begins at conception and that know that EVERY.SINGLE.LIFE.MATTERS?! Even more, where are the ones that are reaching out to the hurting, confused and desperate women that think abortion is their only option?! I want to be that one! The one that reaches out to show them that they do have options, and abortion is NOT the answer! I don’t know where to begin, but I do know that my prayers are going up for the girls and women that are even considering walking into an abortion clinic..that someone will cross their path and point them to the One that has the answers!
Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Jason and I wouldn’t choose to walk down this road of miscarriages again, but if God can use these struggles to bring someone to Him, so be it. I pray that God will put people in our paths that we can daily point to God. And that “these light and momentary afflictions” can be used to bring glory to His name!