A Life More Beautiful

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord." Jeremiah 29:11

Who would have guessed?

on August 8, 2016

us again

Cancer….Stupid cancer!! Our culture teaches us all about four letter words that can be so hurtful and angry. However, this six letter word has made so much more of an impact on our lives in the past month than any four letter word ever has.

I never would have guessed that at 32 years old I would be facing a second surgery for breast cancer and possible chemotherapy. I never would have guessed that I would now have permanent scars to my body caused by this stupid disease. I never would have guessed that Jason and I would have had to sit down our five and seven year old girls to explain that there’s a good chance Mommy may lose her hair.

Can I just scream how much I HATE cancer?!?!?!

I was having a particularly ugly cry with my best-est friend last week and pitifully told her that I feel like God is overestimating what I can take…..”I’m not Job!!” I told her through an onslaught of tears. Her answer caught me off guard, but I have thought about it so many times since then. Summer looked at me through her own tears and said, “No, you aren’t! You are Tabitha! And Tabitha is the one that satan asked God if he can test, and you are the one that’s going to win!!”

Jason and I never would have guessed that this is the road that we would be walking this year….but here’s the thing that’s hit me. God is not surprised!! My “second mom” called to check on me yesterday, and she reiterated several times that this did not catch God by surprise! He knew what this year would bring to us…..He knew our reactions, both good and bad! He saw all of the tears that Jason, Brynlee, Camryn and I would shed. He knew that the first surgery wouldn’t be the only one, and that I would feel crushed when I found out a second surgery will be needed. God wasn’t shocked at Jason’s anger or my rivers of tears that still flow on a daily basis. He wasn’t shocked that Brynlee will randomly burst into tears or that Camryn will run her fingers through my hair and tell me that she doesn’t want me to lose my “beautiful hair.” HE’S NOT SHOCKED!

He’s been preparing our little family for our biggest test and ministry opportunity yet. He has surrounded us with an amazing support group of family, “framily,” friends, co-workers and church family. He’s brought old friends back into our lives and given us doctors that we have quickly come to love and trust.

I would NEVER have chosen this road for myself…or even my worst enemy…but here we are. Tomorrow we meet with an oncologist to get a final decision on chemotherapy. Tonight all I can do is pray that we are met with better news than we have been warned to expect. Either way, I truly know that God has seen every step of this journey and will be with us every single step of the way. This is not at all how we would have guessed we would spend our 13th wedding anniversary, but it’s the road that we are walking hand in hand. I’m thankful to know that we will never walk one step of this journey alone, but will always be guided by the God who is never caught by surprise!

#cancersucks #BUTGodisBIGGER

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14 responses to “Who would have guessed?

  1. Rose Sanderson says:

    Praying for you and your family. You have a gift and you should pen a book. Your blogging should help others facing the same problem and lift their spirits as well. We serve a BIG GOD.

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  2. Lynnizana says:

    Well I’m overwhelmed with emotion after reading ur post Tabitha!! I was telling ur Mom last night that u come from a long line of Strong, Godly OVERCOMERS, & this is one more brick in the unbelievably Rock solid foundation that u & ur sweet Family stand on in FAITH!! As unfair & wrong this is Gods plan will over ride Satan’s attack. You r truly my hero!! So very proud of u!! I love u very much.

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  3. Jerry,Brenda Dsvis says:

    Hello,Tabitha,Jason and family,my wife and I are praying 4 you and your family,and Believeing I n our hearts and soul,our Lord and Saviour is and always with us and you,he knows everything before it happens,and he knows already the outcome.Stay strong,keep the your faith,trust in his Glory,by saying either way,I win.Be blessed we love you,Jason Cherry,Danny and kids!

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  4. Hey, my sweet friend. I didn’t realize you were facing another surgery until I read this. You’ve been such a faithful prayer partner for me, and I will definitely be one for you along this journey. It’s during times like these that we appreciate the wonderful gifts God knew we would need here in this life, especially His Word and His Spirit. I pray He will daily load you with all of his benefits so that you will be able to lean on Him to supply every need. Love you!

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    • tabithawhite says:

      Thank you, Mrs. Sharlet! Please know that I am still praying with you and for you! “The Lord will perfect that which concerns me”….I still hold on to this verse that you gave me almost nine years ago! Love you!

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  5. Natalie jenkins says:

    Tabitha. I have been diligently praying for you and your family. The moment I heard about the cancer my mind went to”its not fair”. I then realized that God always has a plan and yet we rarely undestand until it comes to fruition…you are a soldier that he knew could withstand this battle. I just want to say thank you for being such an amazing christian example and just know that you are so loved!!

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  6. We have no idea why bad things happen to good people, but it does and you are Real Good People. I do not understand Gods ways, His thoughts. But I know our God has you covered. I am so very thankful that you have your church family that, prayerfully will support you and walk with you. thru this journey, your Mom and Danny who are rocks that you can lean on. Jason who adores you and will go the extra mile for and with you. I KNOW God will sustain you and meet every need. I pray for you, Jason and the babies who do not understand, they are scared, their world has been rocked, I pray that God gives them supernatural understanding, confidence and assurance that all is well in their world. Sending a big hug and many prayers

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  7. Phyllis Menza says:

    Tabitha, Irene and I are keeping you in prayer. God is greater. As the song says “He’s as near as the mention of His Name”. What a comfort it is to know He is an ever- present help in the time of need.
    Ps.56:3 When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
    Eph.3:20 Now to HIM who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us.
    I am reminded of a great old hymn called ” STANDING ON THE PROMISES”. They are for us.
    Miss you all and Irene and I look forward to seeing you soon. God Bless and keep looking UP. He is with you.

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